Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Just imagine. A raucous event of 500,000 engine-revving, beer-guzzling, tattooed Hells Angels-looking motorcyclists and their scantily-clad women engaging in racy contests where nudity and simulated sex take place while wife-beater-wearin' Kid Rock head-bangs in the background. And then appears a presidential candidate who gleefully announces:
"Thank you, I thank you all very much for that unique Sturgis welcome! As you may know, not long ago a couple a hundred thousand Berliners made a lot of noise for my opponent. I’ll take the roar of 50,000 Harleys any day! Any day, my friend!"
And then an insane look appears on the candidate's face as he makes a wildly animated spinning hand gesture and loud "vroom vroom" noise intended to simulate the cranking of a cycle engine but ends up his own embarrassing version of the Dean scream....and then offers up his wife in the event's notoriously T&A-infested main contest: "I told her with a little luck, she could be the only woman ever to serve as both the first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip."
Holy Radical Associations, Batman...tits, ass, booze, tattoos, sex, cycles and sluts, oh my! Had the candidate's name been Sen. Barack Obama you can bet your ass that the McCain camp, his GOP surrogates and Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh and the right wing attack-dogs would be crucifying "The One." You can hear them now:
"It's an outrage! Does this man really have the judgement to be president? Hanging out with biker gangs and their naked 'old ladies'....drinking, cursing, engaging in lesbian sex, topless contests....Kid Rock, for Pete's sake!? Its disgusting and un-American....and we cannot have this sort of radical behavior in the White House!"
But the candidate was none other than the socially-conservative Sen. John McCain, and there was nary a peep out of Hannity and Limbaugh and the rest of the good 'ole boy spinhead network. In fact, they think it's cool that their guy gets down with the 'real Americans...patriots...the courageous men and women who serve our country proud,' as McCain painted the Sturgis crowd.
Sweet Jesus, could you imagine the holy shitstorm the Right would make out of this had Obama been standing up there reveling in his biker glory, teasing the flesh-baring beer-buzzed crowd that Michelle should "show us your tits!?" Oh, the hypocrisy....
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