Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I Want to Be Black!


I want to be black. There. I've said it. After 49 years of relatively uneventful yet loyal Caucasianhood, I'm ready to trade in my membership card in this increasingly obsolete club. I mean, is there anything duller than being white right now? Now black....that's the new white!

Think about it. In today's America, Blacks dominate sports, and black culture rules in movies, television, music and fashion. And now, with our newly sworn-in President Barack Obama, blacks own the White House too and have become the welcome new face of politics. As a white kid growing up in NY's outer borough of Queens amid the racial turmoil of the sixties and seventies, I never thought I'd live to witness this incredible day; this awe-inspiring, historic new era in our nation's great evolution. And I'm damned jealous. Seems like black folks are having all the fun! I want to be black! Being white these days feels about as relevant as being at a Sunday night bingo session at a rural Elks Lodge. I want to be in the fun club!

In all seriousness, blacks truly deserve this exciting moment in the sun, for they have been crapped on in this country for hundreds of years. My God, how far we've come. Just 50 years ago blacks we're hung from trees, beaten in the streets, and denied access to "white" restaurants, bathrooms and other public establishments. Jump to 2009 and we have a 46-year-old black man named Barack Hussein Obama elected president while iconic symbols of black culture past and present--Beyonce, Usher, Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin to name a few--perform for our new leader on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. The same steps where, 46 years ago, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., during a most violent and tumultuous time in America's history, delivered his plaintive plea for racial equality and unity in his famous "I Have a Dream" speech.

As I watched the inaugural festivities Tuesday I couldn't help notice the faces of older blacks--some crying--and wondered just how incredible this day must be for them. I noticed the young black Secret Service agent smiling proudly--uncharacteristic of the typically emotionless presidential protectors-- as Obama winked as he walked passed him on the Capital steps as he shook hands after his swearing-in. I noticed all the children, and thought how wonderful that they get to grow up in a new America, one where they will be largely free of the racial stereotypes and limitations that generations before them so painfully endured.

Yes, on this joyous, emotional and historic day and on those to come, I want to be black. I feel black. Today we are all black. And I'm very proud of our great nation in its pivotal moment in history. Once again, as it has so many times in the past, America has demonstrated its true greatness. Better days are ahead...

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

There have been many times over the years when I've wanted to be black because of ignorant white people.

Anonymous said...

...or you can do something that seems to be incomprehensible to Democrats and stop caring about skin color.

Stop categorizing people by color. This includes racist policies like affirmative action.

When we stop paying attention to the color of a person's skin (and the gender of the person for that matter) we can start treating people like people instead of statistics.

People should be judged by character not skin color and/or gender.

Anonymous said...

Ok...

I realize that you were talking mostly tongue-in-cheek there when you said, "I wanna be black!"...

But for some reason, that still came across as kinda creepy.

--VJ Jetley

Anonymous said...

oh ostroy.. u make some of ur admirers smile so... :)

Anonymous said...

This article, even taken in its context (which is, I'm assuming, satirical) is ridiculous. Its an exploitation of race. (You can exploit a race even by praising it too.) This article is not only ridiculous because, 1.) after your incessant love affair with him, you get his age WRONG (he's 47), but, 2.)because you make it appear as if the ONLY reason he got where he is is because of his race! Nowhere in this article did you mention his qualifications, his policies or any talents he might possess, but ONLY his race. Your article is just as ridiculous as if you would have said, "He's president because he's black" (which is the very thing that Rush Limbaugh has uttered on several occasions). I know you wont "approve" of this post, because it's 100% FACT, but it's enough that you at least READ it.

Anonymous said...

Color is over. A black person has reached the highest position in the world. Obama said, and I paraphrase, now a man of any color, creed, religion or race can become President. He is right. Racism is over having any significance. However, you notice he did not say "any man or WOMAN can be President". That's the next battle. No mo' ho' talk, please.

The Ostroy Report said...

Umm...er.....uh....can you please show me specifically where I said Obama won "only because he's black?" Might we have a little case of classic Freudian projection going on here??

Anonymous said...

Andy, apparently you cant read, because I specifically said, "Your article is just as ridiculous as IF YOU WOULD HAVE said, "He's president because he's black". My main point was that it is an exploitation of race, no different than when Rush Limbaugh has made the claims that Obama has been endorsed by people like Colin Powell because he's black.

My goodness Andy, if you're NOT trying to say it's ONLY because his race, then mention something OTHER than race in the article. How many times did you use the word "black"? I'll tell you....16. There's 485 words in your article. I counted 27 words in reference to race (words like 'black(s)', 'white', 'caucasianhood' and even the word 'race' or 'racial'). That's a racial reference once every 17 words. There's ZERO references to Obama's character, qualifications, policies or talents. Isn't it odd that you mentioned MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech in which he specifically says, "Let us not be judged by the color of our skin but by the content of our character", but in your article you disgraced MLK by doing the complete opposite of his dream, mentioning ONLY the color of Obama's skin and not ONCE mentioning the content of his character. And you claim that you didn't at the very LEAST imply it was only his color that got him to the highest office in the land? Unreal.

Black people who read your blog should be HIGHLY offended by you saying, "I feel black". Tell us Andy, how does black FEEL? "Today, we are all black"? My goodness Andy, who do you think Obama is? Jesus Christ? Tell us Andy, how does electing a black man president, in and of itself, make America great just for doing so? What if he's a terrible president and sinks this country deeper in the hole? Shouldn't the greatness of America be measured by its citizens electing who is more Constitutional and who is the most faithful to our founding documents?

Obama has vowed to be the complete opposite of Bush in his policies. Well, let's see if Obama begins to spearhead investigations into George W. Bush's war crimes, or if he pardons him. Let's see if Obama begins to immediately end this war and start speedy withdrawls of troops. Let's see if Obama plans to begin a "national civilian security force" which basically ends freedom as we know it for American citizens.

He is not a savior or the Messiah, Andy. His color means absolutely nothing to me. What I care about is whether he upholds the Constitution or not. The civilian security force he wants to start is not Constitutional. It's the end of freedom. After an inauguration speech, I don't want to "feel black", I want to feel AMERICAN.

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth, I've believed for a long time that only African-Americans could save this country from itself. Not because African-Americans are "magic," but because the rest of America had grown too complacent. There's nothing like well-justified moral indignation to give you some spine. So I'm not surprised about President Obama, and I supported him from the beginning, believing that he would succeed. That said, his ascendency is not a result of his being Black, it's that he knows intuitively that our aspirations as Americans are all connected and interdependent. He wasn't elected because he's Black, he was elected because he's wise in a specific and essential way.

The Ostroy Report said...

Larry, you seem like a very tightly wound fella. May I suggest a deep breath, a glass of scotch, and a little humor. Lighten up, man!

Now as I always try to do with my readers, I will briefly answer your question: "How does black feel?" This week, it feels, as it should to any American, to be enormously joyous, proud, accomplished, and most of all equal. If you really need me to explain this to you then you haven't truly been comprehending anything I've written.

Anonymous said...

Hey Ostroy... I'm a black 39 year old from Detroit. I think you wrote a good article. I get it. Now everyone else just chill out.

Anonymous said...

Hey Andy

Very interesting article about wanting to be black. There is still inequality around the country where blacks are concern especially in the south. I just wanted to say that you should be proud of who God made you to be. Though being black is pretty cool right about now, I just feel that each and every one of us regardless of race should embrace who we are. I thought for sure you were black after reading several of your articles until I noticed your picture. You could have the soul of a black person regardless of skin color. By the way, keep in mind that our President is bi-racial so we as blacks can't entirely claim him as our own. He is also white. This is a time for both blacks and whites to be proud of our new leader and the direction he will be taking the country from that eight year nightmare we had to endure. I'm a 41 year old black woman from Alabama and I really enjoy reading most of your articles.

Anonymous said...

That last comment rings true. I am a biracial (Asian/White) 30 yr old male and I live in rural Alabama. I would also like to remind everyone that President Obama is Biracial. Also to suggest a person is the race of their father and ignore their mother's race is insane. This is the case with Obama and Tiger Woods. They are Black.Right? I wouldn't say so. My mother is Asian and my father Caucasian...What does it read on my ID-- White. This just burns my butt!!! I reckon its because you take your fathers name so you get stuck with that race...LOL. But seriously as far as racial prejudice is concerned in Alabama...we've got a long way to go...But I'd like to note that Black people can be just as racist as White people....the same goes for Asians too... But the thing here in 'Bama is the fact that too many Blacks seem reluctant to being "friends" with the White people down here. As a biracial person either race seem to accept me without much problem. ( I did go to a private school for some time and caught some flak from some black kids cause I had a shirt on with the name.) I've found serious problems on both sides of the coin. Alabama has come along way but has along way to go...but this is the case everywhere I've traveled. From SEA TO SHINING SEA Racism Lurks...not in OLE DIXIE but perhaps right in your back yard.

Anonymous said...

The truth is that as the black man goes, so goes the black community and as wonderful as President Obama and his accomplishments are, he reps the majority of blacks in America in look, not in lifestyle. While we look forward to a better future, to ignore the present condition is fail without a real shot at redemption.

On March 13, 2009 nbcchicago.com reported on the declining rates (approx 1.8 percent) of black men enrolled at two colleges in Illinois and the increasing prison population (approx 60 percent) at two correctional centers. These stats are reflected in correctional facilities ... Read Moreall over the country even though blacks total only approx 13.5 percent of the entire US population.

"…it predicts an absolutely disastrous future in the next 10- to 20-years for the black community…this current educational meltdown will have a catastrophic effect on the black community…who are young black women going to marry? Who is going to father children in the black community? Who is going to help the black community compete against the world? And who really cares?"

We all better care, especially in an economic environment that is likely to only make things worse. "What a cruel hoax to believe that if a black man can become president, then black men do not have problems that America is obligated to address,"

No disrespect Andy but this is real.

Robin Pugh-Perry, MHS