The Wasilla Wonder Wows Tea Baggers with Lies and Deception

Oh what a night! It was everything a bunch of grass-roots revolutionaries looking for a better (or is it tax-free?) America could have hoped for. Intense excitement filled the air as "The Future," former Alaska blink-of-an-eye Governor Sarah Palin, took center-stage at the cultish Tea Bag Party Convention in Nashville Saturday (haven't these poor people yet realized they've named themselves after a nadsack on the chin?).

There was absolute joy among Palin's ever-shrinking far-right-wing base when she bragged "0-for-3," referring to the three key Republican victories in recent months in Virginia, New Jersey and Massachusetts. "How's that hope-y, change-y stuff workin' out for you?," she obnoxiously asked in that painfully annoying fake-cutesy voice.

Now I'm no math whiz, but I do know that "0" means zero. And that would mean that Democrats have not won any key special elections this past year. But wait...didn't Bill Owens defeat Republican Doug Hoffman in New York's 23rd Congressional district, where a Democrat hadn't won that House seat in 140 years? Or how about Scott Murphy's upset victory over Republican Jim Tedisco in New York's solidly GOP 20th District? How about California Democratic Lt. Gov. John Garamendi's defeat of Republican David Harmer in California's 10th Congressional District? Or Kirsten Running-Marquardt's landslide win over Republican rival Josh Thurson? Or Democrat Terry Mills' special election victory in Kentucky's 24th State House district, where Republicans had held court since 2003? We could keep counting, but already that flips Palin's tally to 5-3 for Democrats. Seems like the moose-shootin' Wasilla Wonder with the irritating accent has as big a problem with math as she does geography, current events and grammar.

But math seems to be a huge problem for other prominent Republicans as well, as demonstrated by Rudy Giuliani's bold declaration following the recent underwear-bomber terror attempt that "We had no domestic attacks under Bush; we've had one under Obama." The only problem with this score is that it leaves out the biggest fucking terror attack in the history of mankind, which occurred nine months into George W. Bush's presidency. But what's 3000 dead Americans when you're puking up propaganda, right?



During her 45-minute blabberfest, Palin blasted President Obama for being weak on terror, shouting "We need a Commander in Chief, not a professor of law," to her 1100 ravenous groupies. Perhaps she's forgetting that Obama's ordered 40 drone missile attacks into Pakistan since taking office, more than Bush fired in the last three years of his presidency. Or that Obama recently ordered an additional 30,000 troops into Afghanistan. Sounds pretty Commander-in-Chief-y to me.

And here's one for the hypocrisy file: In talking about the Tea Bag movement's leadership needs, Palin took a cheap shot at Obama's presentation skills: "This is about the people. It's a lot bigger than any charismatic guy with a teleprompter." This coming from an airhead who literally wrote crib notes to herself on her hand.

"Run, Sarah, run," chanted the kool-aid drunken crowd, as Ms. Golly Gee made her exit at the Nadsack convention. And maybe they'll get their wish, as the very next morning Fox News aired a taped interview from Saturday where Palin hinted she'd run for president in 2012.

I'm sorry, but Sarah Palin is a moron and, quite frankly, anyone who would vote for her for president is an even bigger moron. Which is why, as Hardball's Chris Matthews often demonstrates when putting leading Republicans on the hotseat, none of them are willing to say publicly that she's qualified to be president.

The truth is, Palin can read all the prepared speeches and palms she wants in an effort to make her look presidential, but I'd bet $10,000 that if she spent another 5 minutes with Katie Couric she'd once again reveal her true dimwitted self.

"New York and Cali and Jersey, Oh My!" Punch-Drunk Republicans Predict a Revolution in November

In the wake of Scott Brown's surprise victory in the Massachusetts special election for Ted Kennedy's Senate seat, Republicans have been whipping themselves into an orgasmic frenzy over their prospects for a sweeping victory in the November midterms.

Whether it's GOP head Michael Steele, Washington pols, pundits or right wing media spinheads, conservatives have been giddily regurgitating ad nauseum about how the "country is undergoing a massive shift to the right," as radio host Sean Hannity disingenuously boasts. On his program Friday, Hannity and his smarmy guest Dick Morris were about as high as a couple of glue-sniffing teens as they predicted Senate victories practically everywhere in the country. "In California and New York even," Hannity gushed with delusion. "And the prospects in the House are even better," Morris assessed, adding a layer of icing to Hannity's fantasycake, predicting a possible 50 seat pickup there. And the Easter Bunny's coming too.

Unfortunately for these two crafty soothsayers, as well as Steele, Rush Limbaugh and the rest of the blood-smelling lot, there's eight months between now and the election. And eight months in politics is an eternity. By November it is more than likely we'll have seen several straight months of job creation; appreciable growth in the manufacturing sector; another two quarters of GDP growth; a precipitous drop in the unemployment rate; much higher consumer confidence and spending; a significant improvement in the right track/wrong track numbers; continued growth in the housing, financial and retail sectors; increased credit availability; and another year of appreciable stock market gains. So the GOP's chances of taking back the House and Senate, as Hannity and Morris arrogantly predict, will be about as likely as Steele getting re-elected. It's more likely, given Republicans' low Congressional approval ratings and how polls show that Americans view them as the Party of No, that Democrats will gain even more control in both houses.

To be sure, Hannity & Co know damned well that this is the case, which is why they must continue to lie and deceive their listeners. Case in point: a caller to Hannity Friday ignorantly declared that "we are still in a recession, and manufacturing continues to lose jobs." But did Hannity correct her by pointing to the two most recent quarters of GDP growth as well as the January jobs report showing 11,000 manufacturing jobs added (the first monthly increase since November '07)? Fat chance. He just shrieked, "Of course it is!" and continued to bash President Obama and Democrats as if the economy was stuck in reverse, and not experiencing a steady and solid recovery.

The simple truth is, Hannity and other shameless propagandists can spin like tarantulas all they want, but come November if more Americans are working and feeling good about the economy, Republicans will still be outside the Beltway looking in, right where they belong.

As an aside, how ironic is it that Hannity, who's railed on for years now about the "radical" Barack Obama and his "radical associations", has as one of his most frequent guests the scandal-plagued $200-an-hour-prostitute-payin'-toes-suckin'-philanderin' Morris? That sure sounds like a pretty radical guy to me, and one who the self-righteous, sanctimonious, hypocritical Hannity ought not to be "associatin'" with. I guess it's just more of that good 'ole Republican "do as I say not as I do."


On another note, we could use your help at The The Adrienne Shelly Foundation. We're a 501 c 3 tax-exempt, non-profit organization dedicated in my late wife's honor, and with a simple mission: supporting women filmmakers. Adrienne, who wrote, directed and starred in the hit film WAITRESS, was killed November 1, 2006. Through the Foundation, her commitment to filmmaking lives on. We've established scholarships, grants, finishing funds, screenwriting fellowships and living stipends at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts/Kanbar Institute of Film; Columbia University; American Film Institute; Women in Film; IFP; the Nantucket Film Festival; the Tribeca Film Institute; and the Sundance Institute. Your generous contribution will go a long way towards helping us achieve this very important mission. Please click here to make a donation. Thank you.

Black NBC Cook's Menu is Racist, Implies Black Drummer QuestLove. And I Thought White People Were Crazy

Poor Leslie Calhoun, chef at NBC's 30 Rock headquarters. The black foodie thought she was paying homage to her race by hanging a sign up that read: "In Honor of Black History Month," followed by a yummy menu of fried chicken, collard Greens w/smoked turkey, white rice w/black eyed peas, and jalapeno cornbread. Seems pretty innocent and festive, right? Well, not according to musician Ahmir "Questlove" Thompson, the 70's-era-afro'd drummer for the band The Roots and the Jimmy Fallon show, who apparently equates fried chicken with the "N" word.

According to Calhoun, Questlove ordered up some of that finger-lickin' good chicken, a little neckbone mixed with some black eyed peas (perhaps Fergie should be the one pissed off?) and then, incredulous, stepped off the line to post a picture of the controversial menu to his 1.2 million Twitter followers...causing a stir both in cyberspace and in NBC-commissaryspace.

Personally, I'm not sure what the fuss was/is about. Would Jews claim anti-Semitism if there was a sign honoring Jewish History Month with a menu of brisket, latkes and chicken soup? Would Hispanics think it racist to honor Hispanic History Month with paella, refried beans and guacamole? I mean, is this really something Questlove or anyone else should be wasting time on? Has America become so sensitive and politically correct that a black cook cannot feature an ethnic menu and celebrate her people without being hit with the racist label....and by a self-righteous, rabble-rousing, self-soul-food-Loathing twittering black man, no less? Well, NBC executives decided to remove the allegedly racist menu sign, so judge for yourselves.

Perhaps Questlove should stick to playing drums and leave the social commentary to folks like Jon Stewart and Prof. Cornell West.

Toyota's Gift to Detroit

As if Toyota's recent recall of 9-million cars worldwide due to an accelerator defect wasn't enough of a disaster for the company, the Japanese automaker announced Thursday that it was now also investigating its hybrid-electric model, Prius, for breaking problems. The Prius is also the subject of a U.S. investigation.

The Prius is Toyota's wildly popular "green car," which has been a huge hit with environmentalists and eco-friendly Americans. 1.2 million have been sold worldwide since 1997, about half in the United States. The company said the new Priuses experienced “a slight unresponsiveness” of the brakes, a glitch caused by car's unique dual-braking system which can result in difficult transitioning between the two.

Toyota overall has always earned among the highest safety and maintenance ratings, becoming the engineering, productivity and financial envy of the troubled Detroit-based American auto industry. So to be recalling 9-million cars for faulty gas pedals, and drawing the Prius into the automaker's woes over braking problems, is indeed a crisis of epic proportions. Toyota's once-stellar reputation is at stake, and for the first time it's become incredibly vulnerable to the competition.

Adding to the company's troubles, U.S. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood urged owners of recalled Toyotas to stop driving their cars immediately, but when pressed by reporters he claimed his statement was misinterpreted.

To be sure, Toyota's crisis is the biggest gift to American automakers since the government's bailout almost eighteen months ago. If Detroit is smart, we'll be hearing a lot of "Buy American" very soon. And, the industry must pounce on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to kick a hybrid when it's down, and use this rare window to accelerate production and marketing on its own hybrid vehicles and grab some much-needed market-share. Maybe even take the lead someday in the green-car space. But does Detroit have the savvy, resources and resolve to fully capitalize on this unprecedented gift? Only time will tell.


On another note, we could use your help at The The Adrienne Shelly Foundation. We're a 501 c 3 tax-exempt, non-profit organization dedicated in my late wife's honor, and with a simple mission: supporting women filmmakers. Adrienne, who wrote, directed and starred in the hit film WAITRESS, was killed November 1, 2006. Through the Foundation, her commitment to filmmaking lives on. We've established scholarships, grants, finishing funds, screenwriting fellowships and living stipends at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts/Kanbar Institute of Film; Columbia University; American Film Institute; Women in Film; IFP; the Nantucket Film Festival; the Tribeca Film Institute; and the Sundance Institute. Your generous contribution will go a long way towards helping us achieve this very important mission. Please click here to make a donation. Thank you.

Favorite Moments from the State of the Union Address

So the much-anticipated State of the Union Address has come and gone. Quite frankly, I'm not one for big grandiose, meticulously written and rehearsed, teleprompted speeches. Something about the staginess of it all makes it seemed contrived and lacking sincerity. I'm much more the Town Hall wrestling-match kind of guy. I like the unpredictability, and perhaps mayhem, of that particular forum. Nothing like catching a politician in an unscripted moment.

But I do love all the pomp and circumstance of these big televised government spectacles, replete with hokey symbolism and wannabe Monarchism. It's pure theatre. While they're often snarky and confrontational, as President Obama deftly demonstrated Wednesday night or as Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) did back in September with his "You Lie!" outburst to Obama, they're absent the silly wig-wearin' screaming matches of the British Parliament, or the knock-down, drag-out mega-brawls of the Japanese (personally, I'd love to see Barney Frank knock the crap out of House Republican Whip Eric Cantor sometime).

To me, the real excitement in the State of the Union Address was not what was said onstage, but what happened offstage. So in no particular order, here's a few of my favorite moments from the president's address:

-When Obama promised to repeal the "Don't ask Don't Tell" ban of openly gay men and women in the military, the Generals looked more uncomfortable than if they were getting blown by Clay Aiken

-The Generals looking like 5-year-olds in a time-out when Obama said he's ending the Iraq War

-Nancy Pelosi looking like she'd been sniffing glue all night

-Joe Biden looking and acting more like Jason Sudeikis' "Saturday Night Live" Biden parody than his real self

-Personally, I can never get enough of Eric Cantor's smug smirk

-Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) yawning just 5 minutes into the speech, looking like he was past his bedtime at 9:05. Are we keepin' ya up, Harry?

-The sheer ridiculousness of the non-stop standing, sitting, standing, sitting, standing, sitting.....it's like a freakin' Tae Bo video

-Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (KY) looking like he wanted to kill the president

-House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-OH) squeezing his ass cheeks so hard to avoid laughing when Obama joked that he expected some applause from Republicans after mentioning tax cuts. C'mon John, you can laugh at the other side's jokes once in a while. They won't kick ya out of the caucus

-Nothing but crickets from the Republican section when Obama discussed tax cuts. Man, nothing shows the likelihood of true bi-partisanship more than conservatives silent over sweeping tax cuts

-The Supreme Court Justices looking as though they were in a collective coma

-Justice Samuel Alito looking like he had an Irritable Bowl Syndrome attack, and mouthing "not true," when Obama chastised the court for its recent ruling on campaign finance

-Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT) looking characteristically constipated the whole night

-Watching the virtually silent Republican section looking like a bunch of spoiled rotten, defiant, mocking children bucking authority

-Watching Republicans oddly silent at the President's promise to make banks and financial institutions pay back all of their bailout money. Perhaps TARP actually stands for Totally Amoral Republican Posturing?

-Republicans having that "are you fucking crazy?" look on their faces as Obama asked them to join him in passing health care reform

-Obama fantasizing about bringing civility and bi-partisanship back to Washington. Poor guy probably also believes in the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny too

The Problem with Democrats

After the 2008 elections, in which Barack Obama and Congressional Democrats were swept into power in landslide victories, there was much talk of a new era of liberal domination in Washington. Just one year later. Obama's approval rating hovers at just over 50%, the party's lost Ted Kennedy's Massachusetts Senate seat to an unknown Republican, and there's now talk of a 1994 Gingrich-like Republican revolution in this year's November midterm elections. I can't think of anything to say but...what the fuck happened?

What's happened is that, true to form, Democrats can't seem to get out of their own way. Unlike their counterparts on the right, the party leadership, from Obama on down the Congressional line, is comprised of a bunch of spineless, visionless, disorganized, pseudo-intellectual sailors sinking in a sea of their own delusion and denial. If you don't believe me, just consider this: Obama's health-care reform bill is just about dead all because one new Republican Senator, Scott Brown, is headed to DC. According to Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and other party leaders, no super-majority, no reform. That's it. Despite owning the White House, a 78 seat edge in the House and a 59-41 majority in the Senate, health-care is dead because of Sen. Phil A. Buster, Scott Brown. I mean, how lame can Democrats be? When the GOP feared losing Texas, it rushed into action and former House Leader Tom DeLay redrew the lines to give Republicans more votes in order to win. Democrats lose one Senate seat and its whole agenda is thrown into a coma.

Here's another example of why Democrats seem destined for failure. Consider what one leftie on Facebook wrote today about the recent Massachusetts special election: "Anyone who doesn't really work to get a job like that doesn't deserve and she (Martha Coakley) sat this one out. Brown, on the other hand, despite the President's foolish comments about his truck, worked his buns off." And more: "Hey hang on just a second before you all go off on us MA folks. I voted for Obama b/c we needed change & action, & I live in MA & proudly voted for Scott Brown last week b/c I believe again we need change & action!"

For Pete's sake, how much friggin' change do you need? How about voting for change and then giving those elected enough damn time to actually effect change before you toss 'em aside for more change? I'm no Obama groupie, and I've certainly done my fair share of criticizing him and the party. But he's not a miracle worker, and deserves more than one year to undue to massive damage caused this country during eight years of the Bush administration.

I'm sorry, but this "let's change again and vote for Brown" logic is shockingly convoluted. This isn't about the man's work ethic. Its about his politics, and where he stands on the key issues, and whether or not they align with yours. You don't vote for people because they work hard, or because someone else didn't. This is exactly the kind of misguided thinking and priorities that's wrong with Democrats and why they find it hard to obtain and hold power. While Republicans like to win elections, Democrats like to send messages. Call me crazy, but I'll vote any day for a lazy-ass pro-choice, pro-gay-marriage, pro-health-care-reform, pro-gun-control, peace-loving, Wall Street reformin' Democrat than a hard workin' Republican with the exact opposite viewpoints.

I'm tired of Democrats sending messages, like the one they sent back in 2000 with their votes for Ralph Nader. The message then and remains, "Dear George Bush, welcome to the White House for eight years." The problem with Democrats is that they over-analyze and over-intellectualize everything to the point of defeat. And, they lack focus, unity and resolve. And when battling a ruthless opposition like the GOP, this is a recipe for disaster.

In this day and age, given the highly-charged partisan climate and what's at stake, if anyone puts work ethic before positions, they should be ashamed of themselves. People should be more concerned that Mr. Hard-Working Brown is now headed to D.C. to work hard at killing everything Liberals stand for.


On another note, we could use your help at The The Adrienne Shelly Foundation. We're a 501 c 3 tax-exempt, non-profit organization dedicated in my late wife's honor, and with a simple mission: supporting women filmmakers. Adrienne, who wrote, directed and starred in the hit film WAITRESS, was killed November 1, 2006. Through the Foundation, her commitment to filmmaking lives on. We've established scholarships, grants, finishing funds, screenwriting fellowships and living stipends at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts/Kanbar Institute of Film; Columbia University; American Film Institute; Women in Film; IFP; the Nantucket Film Festival; the Tribeca Film Institute; and the Sundance Institute. Your generous contribution will go a long way towards helping us achieve this very important mission. Please click here to make a donation. Thank you.

Senator-Elect Scott Brown: The Male Palin?

An interesting thing is taking place in Democratic circles right now: the debate over whether newly-elected Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown is a frat-boy airhead who's nothing more than Sarah Palin with a penis, or, the next President of the United States ("45," as Jon Stewart even satirized the other night). Though it's surely way too early in "BrownWatch" to draw any firm conclusions, there are, however, some interesting considerations.

Let's start with the theory that he's little more than a lucky pretty-boy who often opens his mouth to change feet. As his two daughters Arianna (21) and Ayla (19) can attest, dear old dad sometimes says some pretty embarrassing things, as he did during his victory speech when bizarrely announcing that they were "beautiful" and "available." Or how about his assertion that it was "not normal" for gays to be parents. Or when he implied that President Obama was born out of wedlock. Fortunately for him, he's yet to say he can see Russia from Cape Cod. As a friend of mine who knew him at Tufts said, "he was just a big dumb jock" who the smart girls didn't take too seriously.

But it's the smart girls and boys in Washington, especially the Democrats, who probably should start taking "41," as he's now affectionately called by Minority Leader Sen. Mitch McConnell (KY), very seriously. And it's not because Sen. Phil A Buster (as I call him) is headed to D.C. to kill health care reform and all things liberal. It's because Brown has those intangible qualities that defy the odds and make him an unlikely winner. He's a very likable, charming, folksy guy who's very deftly created his successful pick-up-truck-drivin, "everyman" persona that's equally attractive to men as it is to women. To men, he's a real sports-obsessed guy's-guy who was probably the one who made them laugh in college with lampshades on his head and massive bong hits (think Tom Hanks in "Bachelor Party" or Will Ferrell in "Old School"). Someone who, like George W. Bush, "is one of us;" an intellectual non-threat. And to women, he's easy on the eye and is, well, a big dumb jock. You be surprised how, outside of Tufts, big dumb jocks are pretty popular among the ladies.

But make no mistake: at least at this point, Brown's no Palin. He may say some goofy things sometimes, but so did Bush, and he chilled in the White House for eight years. And so does Vice President Sen. Joe Biden, and he's a pretty powerful figure in Washington. With his law degree, his stint in the Massachusetts State Senate, and in what could now be an incredibly influential role in the U.S. Senate, Brown could grow into quite the formidable opponent to Obama in 2012. Honestly, with the sheer lack of sexiness and excitement in the GOP right now, if I were the party leaders I'd have started grooming this guy for a presidential run yesterday. Stay tuned. I suspect BrownWatch is going to get mighty interesting going forward.


On another note, we could use your help at The The Adrienne Shelly Foundation. We're a 501 c 3 tax-exempt, non-profit organization dedicated in my late wife's honor, and with a simple mission: supporting women filmmakers. Adrienne, who wrote, directed and starred in the hit film WAITRESS, was killed November 1, 2006. Through the Foundation, her commitment to filmmaking lives on. We've established scholarships, grants, finishing funds, screenwriting fellowships and living stipends at NYU's Tisch School of the Arts/Kanbar Institute of Film; Columbia University; American Film Institute; Women in Film; IFP; the Nantucket Film Festival; the Tribeca Film Institute; and the Sundance Institute. Your generous contribution will go a long way towards helping us achieve this very important mission. Please click here to make a donation. Thank you.