Saturday, October 06, 2012

An Open Letter to Mitt Romney From Big Bird


Dear Mr. Romney:
I have to say, I am both shocked and disappointed by your desire to cut funding for PBS. You said at the debate that "I love Big Bird." But the sad truth is, you don't love me at all. You don't love any of us...not Bert, Ernie, Oscar, The Count, Grover or Elmo either...and who on Earth doesn't love Elmo? What's wrong with you?!

Can you please explain to me why you think it's more important, for example, to help private plane owners but not PBS? Where are your priorities? You're clearly more concerned with Wall Street than you are Sesame Street. But let me tell you something: investment bankers never taught kids how to read, write, count and to be caring, sensitive, thoughtful people. Did you know that children who watched our program have an average 16% higher GPA in high school than those who didn't? Our show also teaches them from an early age to appreciate and respect art and science.

Well maybe that's it. Maybe it's because you and your party don't appreciate and respect art and science? Maybe it stems from the desire to dismantle the Department of Education, and your statements that we don't need more teachers. Maybe it's because you've never needed outside help in your entire life because you came from a rich, privileged family who gave you everything you could ever possibly want...including the best private education available.

I'm sure you never sat on the floor of a ghetto tenement watching Sesame Street, or any other PBS program, on an old junky television with a hanger clipped to it for reception. For many of our viewers, our show is not just a free babysitter and tutor, but an entry into a world of culture and fantasy that only rich folks like you have at their fingertips every day just by waking up. Is that so hard to understand? Why is it so hard for you to grasp that some folks, and millions of children, simply need a little help in life?

Look, the government gives the Corporation for Public Broadcasting $445 million per year. As far as the $4-trilion U.S. budget goes, that's a pimple on Snuffleupagus's ass (sorry for using a bad word, but I'm very upset with you!).  Is this a road you really wanna go down?

Mr. Romney, unlike most of my other cast mates who are solid Obamacons, I am, or at least until Wednesday night's debate, was an independent. But you've pushed me--and I suspect millions of concerned moms and dads--into Obama's camp. You've lost my vote. I simply cannot fathom supporting someone who doesn't recognize the value in public television and it's tremendous impact on society....both in the near and long term. 

Oh, and one more thing. You should really love us because, with a name like Mitt, you could easily be one of the characters on our show....

Big Bird


Jeff said...

Wait, he's NOT Guy Smiley?

Anonymous said...

MittRobmoney wants to shrink goverment to allow private money$ to do and createjobs, jobs and more jobs, - so where are the Bain Corporate Sponsorship Donations to PBS? Oh they went to $wi$$ bank$, Cayman Bank$ and China now has our jobs thanks to Mitt! MrRomney you need to run for president anywhere EXCEPT the USA!