What Would Jesus Say?

Donald Trump tweeted “Merry Christmas” this morning and then issued the following statement:

“…Together, we must strive to foster a culture of deeper understanding and respect — traits that exemplify the teachings of Christ.”

Excuse me, but I think I’m gonna vomit…because Trump and his First Cohort Melania are the very antithesis of everything Christ lived and died for. Everything.

I often wonder what Jesus would think if he were here today. What he’d say if he witnessed Trump’s vile behavior.

I think about the deliciously satisfying scene in ANNIE HALL when, on a movie line in the lobby, a pseudo-intellectual standing behind a clearly irritated Woody Allen waxes arrogantly to his date about the philosopher Marshall McLuhan and gets emotionally pulverized when Allen brilliantly has McLuhan step out from behind a poster to school him on his work. But in my fantasy, it’s Jesus who’d step forward and tell Trump…

“I heard what you were saying. You know nothing of my work…”

So what would Jesus actually say to Trump? I suspect he’d begin by reminding him of the obvious: love, honor, respect, decency, compassion, empathy, faith, forgiveness, sacrifice.

But perhaps he’d take it a step further. He’d assure Trump that he’s not The Chosen One. That he’s not a prophet. That there’s only one Jesus.

He might even get angry and excoriate Trump, and the evangelicals who enable him, for the specific sins he commits on an hourly basis…

“How dare you defile my name in furtherance of policies, positions, attitudes and behavior that directly contradict everything I stand for. You sexually assault women. You covet thy neighbor’s wife. You cheat on yours. You mock and bully the aged, the sick, the disabled, the poor, the needy, minorities. You steal from the poor to give to the rich.You foment hate and violence against your opponents. You attack and ignore those escaping persecution and who desperately seek refuge. You cage children. You separate families. You self-enrich at the expense of others and your country’s safety. You break laws, shatter norms and dismantle institutions. You’re a pathological liar. You respect no one, cannot be trusted and are a threat to civilization. And, you constantly take my name in vain as justification for spreading your cancer on mankind. So please…stop…talking…about…my…teachings. Just STOP.”

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah, everyone…