Saturday, June 05, 2010
An astonishing thing happened this week. The U.S. government brought in Messianic movie producer James Cameron to help figure out how to stop the oil from gushing from BP's catastrophic well a mile deep in the Gulf of Mexico. And why Cameron? Because he made a monster hit movie where he used some nifty equipment and technology to film the sunken Titanic. Apparently that makes him an expert in fixing the worst environmental disaster in our nation's history. Within 24 hours of Cameron's 'investigation,' the megalomaniac self-proclaimed "king of the world" was already calling everyone "morons." Only in Hollywood, folks.
But this got me thinking. Why stop at Cameron? If his movie -making experience makes him infinitely qualified to tackle extraordinary environmental clusterfucks like the Gulf spill, there's certainly other entertainment icons with the oceanic expertise to perhaps find a solution as well.
How about Ouji-boarding Richard Basehart, star of the 1960's hit show "Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea?" I'm sure 'Admiral Harriman Nelson' would know a thing or two about well-kills, no? Or "Waterworld's" Kevin Costner? He battled the evil forces that engulfed the Earth in water. Can't he plug up a little ole oil well with his various rusty junk and grimy debris? And then there's SpongeBob. Can't he just gather his entire species and simply soak up the oil? Or how how about the Little Mermaid's King Triton? For Pete's sake, he's the boss of the entire ocean. If he can't fix this mess no one can.
In the meantime we have the utterly inept BP, the impotent Obama administration, and Cameron. Somewhere Bush and Cheney are smiling.....