Former House Leader Tom DeLay (TX) might surely be missed around town if his indictment over illegal fundraising schemes should ultimately land him in jail. Who can forget the pearls of wit and wisdom that have left The Hammer's mouth over the years. Here's a Top 10 list collected by Daniel Kurtzman:
1. "So many minority youths had volunteered, that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself." (explaining at the 1988 GOP convention why he and vice presidential nominee Dan Quayle did not fight in the Vietnam War).
2. "Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" (to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept.9,2005).
3. "I AM the federal government." (to the owner of Ruth's Chris Steak House, when told to extinguish his cigar because of federal laws banning smoking in the building, May 14, 2003).
4. "We're no longer a superpower. We're a super-duper power." (explaining to Fox News why America must overthrow Saddam Hussein in 2002).
5. "Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes." (March 12, 2003).
6. "Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working mothers who take birth control pills." (explaining the causes of the Columbine High School massacre, 1999).
7. "A woman can take care of the family. It takes a man to provide structure. To provide stability. Not that a woman can't provide stability, I'm not saying that... It does take a father, though." (Feb. 10, 2004).
8. "I don't believe there is a separation of church and state. I think the Constitution is very clear. The only separation is that there will not be a government church."
9. "Emotional appeals about working families trying to get by on $4.25 an hour [the minimum wage in 1996] are hard to resist. Fortunately, such families do not exist." (during a debate in Congress on increasing the minimum wage, April 23, 1996).
10. "I am not a federal employee. I am a constitutional officer. My job is the Constitution of the United States, I am not a government employee. I am in the Constitution." (in a CNN interview, Dec. 19, 1995).
With such profound prose as this, Bush actually seems intelligent by comparison.