Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Perhaps he should change his name to Rush Limpaugh. The conservative media blowhard was detained for over three hours Monday at Palm Beach International Airport after Custom officials found Viagra in his bag. Mr. Softee was returning on his private plane from a vacation in the Dominican Republic when his erectile dysfunction medication was confiscated. However, the prescription was in the name of his physician and not under his own name. His lawyer, Roy Black, said the prescription was written in Limpaugh's doctor's name "for privacy purposes." I guess when you blather on every day on the radio as if you have a monstrous 12-inch shmecky it could be a little embarrassing when it appears you're actually hung like an elevator button. And a soft button at that.
Limpaugh, 55, could be in for even more trouble as a result of his little blue pill-poppin'. Investigators will be seeking to determine whether or not old Limpy is in violation of his deal with prosecutors stemming from his 2003 OxyContin prescription fraud case. If so, he could end up in the slammer, where his flaccidity may end up being the least of his sexual problems (ouch).
Limpaugh deserves everything he gets. For years, he's built a reputation as a heartless he-man who relishes emasculating gay men, liberals, drug users and just about anyone who disagrees with his pig-headed, narrow-minded, ignorant opinions. The delicious irony that he can't get it up without Viagra actually makes me wet myself.