Saturday, June 10, 2006
Sorry, Repugs. Two married gays living in Providence has about as much negative impact on heterosexual marriage as a "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" marathon on ESPN. The constitutional ban on gay unions that conservatives dream of passing someday would do nothing to protect and uphold their precious holy matrimony. But there are several things that these bible-thumping lawmakers can do if they're really concerned about the survival of the great institution of marriage:
1. A constitutional amendment banning infidelity: The #1 marriage killer.
2. A constitutional amendment banning spousal abuse: over 4-million women are beaten each year by their husbands. 4000 are killed.
3. A constitiutional amendment banning divorce: 50% of all heterosexual marriages end in divorce.
Collectively, these three sins kill millions of heterosexual marriages each year. To the contrary, Ellen DeGeneres' love life poses no threat at all. If Repugs want to tamper with the Constitution, let 'em do so where it truly counts.