The Ostroy Report

The Ostroy Report is a fresh, aggressive voice for Democrats and a watchdog of the GOP/Tea Party. We support President Obama and the Democratic agenda and seek to preserve the Senate majority while taking back the House. But we're also not afraid to criticize the left when necessary.

Friday, April 07, 2006

GOP Afflicted With New Disease: Gonorrhea Lectim


News from The Center for Disease Control and Prevention is circulating the 'Net Friday stating that the Republican Party has contracted a new virulent strain of a
sexually transmitted disease called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him)", which is contracted through dangerous and high risk partisan greed, cronyism and corruption. Several GOP leaders previously or currently running for re-election have been politically crippled by this debilitating condition, including Tom DeLay, Bob Ney, Rick Santorum, John Boehner and Duke Cunningham. Other high-ranking ReTHUGlicans including Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rice seem to have contracted a version of the dreaded illness as well.

Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:

-Anti-social personality disorders
-Delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones
-Extreme cognitive dissonance
-Inability to incorporate new information
-Pronounced xenophobia and paranoia
-Inability to accept responsibility for own actions
-Cowardice masked by misplaced bravado
-Uncontrolled facial smirking
-Ignorance of geography and history
-Tendencies towards evangelical theocracy
-Categorical all-or-nothing behavior

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this
destructive disease originated only a few years ago
from a bush found in Texas.

1 Comments:

  • At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    God, that is soooo funny. And so apt. Andy, did you do that all by yer lonesome?? I'm sending it on, hon....FABUTRON!!!!

     

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