Saturday, April 29, 2006

The Most Illiterate President in U.S. History Arrogantly Lectures Immigrants on Learning English

It's called "Nuestro Himno," and it's causing quite a ruckus, especially in the White House. The new Spanish version of the national anthem was released on Friday as part of the growing immigrants' rights movement. When asked whether he believed the anthem would have the same value in Spanish as it did in English, Mr. Bush said, "No, I don't. And I think people who want to be a citizen of this country ought to learn English."

Holy Abramoff! Did Bush really say that? Maybe we misunderestimated him? Surely he must know that in an election year it would not be an advisable strategery to alienaterate hisself from the Hispaniard population.

Yes George, our citizens should speak English, and that includes you. You're the leader of the free world and you can't string two sentences together without mangled syntax and mucho malapropisms. Our Hispanic immigrants may have crossed the border from Mexico. We know why they don't speak English. You went to Yale. What's your excuse?

Let us revist a few of Bush's language-butchering greatest hits:

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

" We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe We are a part of Europe."

"Public speaking is very easy."

"We must not stop OB/GYN doctors from spreading their love of woman across the country."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."

Lo siento mucho, Mr. Presidente, but I think most Hispanics speak the language better than you do. Time for a little remedial English class, perhaps?


Anonymous said...

Right on! This article speaks volumes . . . parenthetically, to list the entirety of Bush's mangled version of pidgin English would indeed require volumes.

Pouring from the empty into the void.

Anonymous said...

I disagree. I don't necessarily believe Mexican immigrants speak better english than President Bush. The difference in my opinion is that, unlike the President, most Mexican immigrants are NOT FUCKING IDIOTS!!!

And given that it is still (?) a free society, one should encourage anyone to praise our country in any language they choose. The unbelievable stupidity!!

Unknown said...

Yo vivo en el sur de Tejas, cerca de la frontera con Mexico.
Conozco muchos immigrantes aqui que hablan mejor Ingles que El Presidente Bush! Y tambien, Senor Bush no habla bien Espanol!
It is great benefit to speak as many languages as possible.
Last summer I tutored two high school students from Poland in English. They really didn't need it. Their English was far superior to 90% of our local residents of all races and backgrounds.

Anonymous said...

and if he is declared to be so, is he really the problem or is the illiterate numbers decreased by one bit with such declaration. maybe you are just with certain political agenda exercising rour right to free speech, and the illiterate legal or illegal immigrant is still illiterate. what are you going to do about that, aside from going after a high profile person in such a no lose situation to the always biased media.